


Maid of Erebor

by TeaBagginsFromtheOak



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Also this movie is literally A++++, Dog!Smaug - Freeform, Dwalin has a soft spot for kids, Frodo is adorable, Humor me and pretend Bilbo and Thranduil are about the same size, M/M, Modernish AU, Smug!Thorin, Testy!Bilbo, Thorin isn't a totally emotionally constipated, Who isn't a jerk, and is also an adorable caucasian shepherd dog, do watch it now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaBagginsFromtheOak/pseuds/TeaBagginsFromtheOak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a dare turn date Bilbo, can't believe his luck that he could potentially be dating the prince of Erebor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Case of Mistaken Identities

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously watch this damn movie  
> It's worth it

The day started out very much the same for Bilbo; he’d take Frodo to school then catch a cab to work. He would run in, shedding his over coat revealing his maid uniform for the Lonely Mountain Suites. He would say hello to the guard on duty; Nori never missed a thing when it came to the cameras. A smile and a snide joke on the maid’s behalf usually ended those short meetings. Bilbo hurried to his locker to hang up his stuff and his best friend was sitting waiting for him. His collar was coming undone in the back and Bilbo fixed it before they both went to their carts and headed to the elevator. They began to chat easily enough.

“How are you?” Bilbo was adjusting his shirt, hoping it didn’t look as crooked as it felt. Ori was watching the numbers count down on the elevator.

“Frodo’s father can’t take him, so I have to watch him this week and his usual babysitter is going out of town.” Ori perked up. He was shy usually, but Frodo got the timid man to open up, so Ori always had a soft spot for the child.

“Does that mean he’ll be coming to visit?” Bilbo looked at him sideways and Ori chuckled. The elevator dinged and they cleared out of it to start working on their designated rooms. Ori gave Bilbo the memo of who was coming in and who was checking out as they worked around each other.

“Ugh, I hate when he comes to stay, he never knows how to use the little silver knob on the toilet.” Ori complained. He was taking off the sheets on the enormous bed in the equally enormous suite. Bilbo had to help Ori with this one or it would never get done. The regular resident often left the suite in complete disarray and never tipped. Ori had tried to get someone else to clean it, but he was the newest, so he got stuck with the job. Bilbo, being one of the senior maids he had no qualms with helping his friend clean the disgusting room.

Being a maid was not Bilbo’s first career choice, but his mother had ensured him a job by grandfathering him in before she died, so he would always have at least a steady job albeit not a luxurious one. He groaned at the amount of crude and sexist remarks he had to endure when he brought up his job. It was one of the many reasons that Bilbo preferred the company of his foster child and his coworker/best friend.

“Did you hear?” Bilbo shrugged his shoulders as he was pulled out of his day dream. He had an arm full of towels and was stocking the bathroom with fresh linens. “Thorin Oakenshield is going to be in town.” Bilbo poked his head outside of the bathroom to give Ori a quizzical look. “And he’s staying here.” Bilbo went back into the bathroom, his arms now empty, but positioned on each hip.

“And?” Bilbo grabbed some shampoo and conditioner samples and set them in the bathroom. He glanced at himself in the mirror as he looked up from the sink. He was nothing spectacular he knew. His shirt fit snuggly against his frame. The black and red fabric bringing out the copper tones in his otherwise blonde hair. He was short on the male scale and he was too polite to go out to meet anyone. His manners usually got him overlooked. He couldn’t bear the thought of having to carry on a conversation with someone who wasn’t even remotely intelligent. All in all his standards were too high, for his low standard life. He took a deep breath and walked out once again. Ori attempting to put the sheets on the California King sized bed. He was huffing and grunting as he tried to cover the corner. Consequently the other corner came undone and Ori nearly yelled in frustration.

Bilbo chuckled and helped out the young man. Ori gave a weak smile as thanks. They continued to talk for some time as they moved on to the next room. It was pristine except for the few items of luggage that were sitting around in the lounge area. Ori and Bilbo had specific instructions as to the care of the valuable items. As they began to take out the man’s attire Ori spotted something in the closet. He pulled out the outfit and marveled at the design and dared to run his fingers over the fabric. Bilbo looked up and saw Ori nearly drooling over the clothes,

“Ori!” The younger man jumped and put the outfit back in the closet. “Stop that.” Bilbo chastised and Ori hung his head in shame.

“But look at this stuff!” Ori tried to defend himself. Bilbo raised an eyebrow. “Come on, Bilbo!” Ori motioned to the outfit. “It’s in your size too.” Bilbo shook his head again.

“No, Ori, let’s just finish this up before the owner comes back.” Bilbo continued to set up the room the way he was directed to. Ori persisted,

“Oh Bilbo when will you ever live a little?” Ori groaned and grabbed the clothes off the rack again. He moved to stand in front of Bilbo.

“When I have enough money to pay for anything stupid I do.” Bilbo knew he probably would never reach that point, so he stared pointedly at Ori. Ori didn’t seem fazed at all my the older man’s stern glare. “Put it back, Ori.”

“Bilbo, just for a minute.” Bilbo crossed his arms and shook his head. “Bilbo please!” Bilbo didn’t see why it was so important to wear the outfit. “I live vicariously through you, give me this one joy!” Bilbo put his hands on his hips and quirked an eyebrow at Ori. In all reality he really _really_ wanted to try on the outfit, but the guilt would eat at him if he did.

In the end Ori won and he was wearing the outfit.

xXx

Frodo didn’t often leave school, but the nagging feeling in his gut wouldn’t go away and he had to see his father. He caught the bus to his father’s work. He often got much chastising from his peers that his father was a maid, but his dad got to meet famous people left and right. And he knew that his dad would do anything for him and that was good enough for him. He got off the bus and made his way through the employee entrance, a familiar face greeting him at the door.

“Hey there, Frodo, what are you doing out of school so early?” Frodo didn’t like to lie, but he couldn’t help he was good at it.

“We had a half day today and dad told me to come here when school got out.” Bombur nodded and let the young boy in. The chef slipped him some food from the kitchen before sending him on his way up elevator. Frodo nibbled on the pastry as the elevator came to a stop, but not on the right floor. The door opened and three men and a dog got on the elevator. The dog’s ears perked up at seeing Frodo. Frodo made a sound of excitement and pet the dog despite one of the man’s glares. Frodo was finished petting the dog when he finally noticed the men. He hardly contained his glee at seeing none other than Thorin Oakenshield. Frodo held out his hand and hid the pastry behind his back.

Thorin gave a small smile, crouching down to his level to shake the boy’s hand.

“I’m Frodo Baggins. Nice to meet you Mr. Oakenshield.” Frodo managed as he shook the man’s hand. He had always had a fashion with the young prince since he could start to read. He wanted no one else to be his king than Thorin. The two other men looked at each other, amused, then back at the boy.

“Thorin will do just fine, Mr. Baggins.” The dog nudged Frodo’s hand and with his free hand Frodo pets the dog. “What would cause you to be out of school at this hour?” Frodo at least had the decency to look ashamed, but it only softened Thorin’s resolve to not turn in the little escapee.

“I have stage fright and I didn’t want to speak in front of my class.” He pat the dogs head as they continued up the elevator. “Hey, Mr. Thorin, would it be alright if I played with your dog for a little bit?” Thorin straightened and tilted his head. Balin moving to speak, but a look from Thorin silenced him.

“Sure, let’s go check with your father and we can take Ol’ Smaug to the park.” Frodo was bouncing on his heels as he waited to reach his father’s floor.

xXx

“You know Bilbo, if I didn’t know any better I’d think that you _lived_ in one of these rooms rather than _cleaned_ them.” Bilbo admired himself in the mirror. He thought he did look quite charming if he did say so himself. He would never tell anyone else that. He took a deep breath before turning around to Ori,

“Alright now it’s time to take it off.” Ori groaned and people could be heard in the room. Bilbo’s blood ran cold and Ori was quick to think. He grabbed the jacket and put it on Bilbo. Frodo came into sight with a rather large dog and three other men. Bilbo’s first reaction was to grab Frodo and ask him why he wasn’t at school but seeing the shy boy so open and chatty he couldn’t help but revel in it for a moment. Then Bilbo noticed the men he was with. One of them being Thorin Oakenshield. The Prince of Erebor. The man who was in line for the crown. Bilbo took a deep breath and Ori put all the tags back into the outfit. Bilbo nearly forgot how to walk. Thorin seemed just as taken aback. Bilbo’s ears then began to cooperate and he could hear Ori whisper in his ear.

“Vicarious remember.” Bilbo nodded and Ori spoke to the rest of them this time. “Alright, Mr. Greenleaf. You’re all set. Go enjoy your time.” Ori disappeared after blushing at one of the men standing next to Thorin. Frodo was bouncing around next to the dog.

“Can we go to the park? Can we dad? Please?” The dog was then getting riled up and Thorin had to hiss a command, so he wouldn’t bowl over the young boy. Bilbo stared dumbly at the entire scene. Finally his instincts took over and he held out his hand,

“Thranduil Greenleaf, at your service.” Thorin held out his hand as well. Bilbo had to suppress the urge to kiss the man’s hand. He didn’t know how to act around royalty.

“Thorin, no need to be of any service to me.” He gave a sly smile. “That’s what these two are for.” He motioned to the two men behind him. One of them looked ready to give a rude gesture, but took the small boy into consideration and refrained. Bilbo felt like melting into a puddle on the floor.

“Dad!” Frodo wined and Bilbo remembered his surroundings.

“Uh? Oh yes, sure, let’s go.” Thorin smiled and told Dwalin and Balin to go back to the room; he’d be back within the hour. They both looked at him with trepidation, but after a hard glance they both nodded slowly and left. Leaving Thorin, Frodo, and Bilbo in the room. Smaug looked excitedly at Frodo and began to get riled up again.

“Well we should leave before they destroy you’re freshly cleaned room.” Bilbo chuckled and that eased some of the tension in his body.

“Yes I believe that is a good idea.” Bilbo gave a genuine smile and accepted the elbow provided for him. Smaug and Frodo running along ahead.


	2. Words Said And Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date to the park proceeds not quite as planned, but neither has this entire encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo I got an odd inspiration to write this again. Thank you for the reviews this is really why I did it.

Bilbo had ridden this elevator more times then he’d like to admit, with it being his job and all, but never with this much tension. Between Frodo nearly bouncing with excited energy, Smaug feeding off of Frodo’s nervous energy, Bilbo’s anxious and frightened jittering, and Thorin’s somewhat calm if not smug demur wasn’t as distracting as it was attractive, Bilbo might not be as anxious as he was. The elevator began to slow down, and it wasn’t even at the lobby. Bilbo’s heart stuttered and dropped to adjust Frodo’s coat.

“Dad? Why are you dressed like this?” Frodo whispered, Bilbo was glad he was so intuitive sometimes.

“I’ll explain later, just play along.” Frodo nodded as the elevator resumed with Thorin shooing away the other passengers with some excuse of too many persons. Bilbo thanked him under his breath and stood up once again as the elevator came to the lobby and Frodo and Smaug bounded after the door to the park. Bilbo thought for a second to raise his voice, but didn’t want to draw attention to himself. Bilbo scowled at the two as they darted out the door and waited on the sidewalk. Bilbo didn’t realize he was being watched until they approached the door and he saw their reflection. Bilbo looked up at the taller man and was met by a dazzling smile.

“Sorry, I seemed to be lost in thought.” Thorin looked away and Bilbo would be damned if he was going to admit that he was disappointed by the action. Thorin held the door for Bilbo and not forgetting his manners he thanked him and Smaug and Frodo were waiting for them rather impatiently. Thorin put the leash on Smaug and Frodo begged to hold the leash, but Bilbo was highly apprehensive for the eight year old to be in control of the dog that was twice his weight in hair alone. Thorin seemed to sense Bilbo’s unease and denied Frodo the pleasure. Frodo pouted, but it didn’t last long as the park came into sight.

“I have two nephews who are more rambunctious then he is.” Bilbo turned slightly as Thorin spoke, one eye on Thorin the other on Frodo as his excitement spiked again with the park so near. He remembered a few years ago the birth announcement that rocked the city. A boy to continue on the Durin lineage. If Bilbo remembered right the princess was due with her third any month.

“Are they? He’s usually quite shy.” Bilbo stated, but he couldn’t be upset about the new development. Thorin hummed. The park was starting to shed its greens in favor of the autumn that was nearing. The day was unusually warm for this time of year. Bilbo didn’t mind. The suit he was wearing was light enough to not be overwhelming.

“I’m glad to see that Smaug can bring him out of his reserve.” Thorin let the dog in question off the leash and he ran towards the field where Frodo was playing. Bilbo watched for a second before he began to scan the surrounding of the park. A few trees had begun to turn and the small breeze that was nice, but it was enough to get his golden curls in a mess across his eyes. After a few stumbles from trying to get his hair out of his eyes, he felt a warm arm wrap around his and steady him.

“Oh, thank you.” Bilbo stuttered as he was led to one of the park benches. A dog walker came by to grab Smaug, but Thorin politely shooed her off and Frodo was physically relieved. After a brief moment of hesitation Bilbo managed to get his words out. “What brings you to Erebor?” Bilbo looked at Thorin and wondered how he wasn’t suffering from the wind.

“My father wants me to make more public appearances. He thinks it’ll boost my public opinion.” He said it in a way that Bilbo knew he had had many battles of the sort and it came as a resignation rather than desire to appease his father. From what he’d heard they had a fine relationship as any could be with them being a royal family and all, but then again that is the news that he was supplied from the local tabloids he glanced at while in line at the supermarket.

“What do you think?” Bilbo didn’t want to start anything that might get a rise out of the Prince, but he was curious why someone like Thorin wouldn’t be more open with the public. He was very amiable and even if Bilbo was pretending to be someone whom he was definitely not. For this one day though, Bilbo was going to indulge himself.

Thorin leaned back and took a deep breath. “I’m not actually one for politics. I prefer this.” He looked at Bilbo and he hoped that he didn’t outwardly show how effected he was by the Prince’s piercing blue gaze. Bilbo looked away to see Frodo rolling in the grass. The dog bounding after him.

“At least he’ll be tired for tonight.” Bilbo didn’t realize he’d said that out loud until Thorin chuckled softly. Bilbo was slightly startled and blushed. He stood up and called Frodo over who in turn brought the large dog.

“Uh,” Thorin cleared his throat debating on whether to be say anything, but what kind of Prince would he be if he let Bilbo walk around with a magazine firmly planted to his backside. Regardless of whether he was looking to see if the magazine was there or not is unimportant. “Mr. Greenleaf?” Bilbo hesitated at the foreignness of  the name before he remembered whom he was playing.

“Uh, yes?” Thorin made a gesture and Bilbo squinted his eyes, clearly confused on what was going on. Frodo came up behind his dad and began to giggle.

“Dad! You sat on Thorin’s face!” Bilbo flared red as Frodo grabbed the magazine that was stuck to the back of his suit. Frodo held the magazine out for Bilbo to see and low and behold Thorin was the cover of this particular magazine. Bilbo didn’t know whether to run or die right there in front of the Prince of Erebor and his son. He decided he was being overdramatic and decided to hide his face for a moment before his blush consumed his body and his fake name became Redleaf.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bilbo barked at Thorin. Both of them were shocked, either by the fact that Thorin was getting yelled at for not basically groping the man he just met or at the fact that Bilbo the maid just bit the head off of Thorin the Prince.

“I – was getting there.” Thorin sputtered and stood up. His smug composure was now beyond flustered at this small, strange man. Bilbo huffed, his embarrassment spiking into anger and he grabbed Frodo’s hand before he could say anything that might get him into a legal battle with a Prince. He walked away muttering about Prince’s and their damned mouths and eyes. Smaug whined as he saw the two storm off.

“Goodbye, Mr. Oakenshield!” Frodo called.

“Goodbye, Frodo! Mr. Greenleaf? When can we see each other again?” He hollered after the testy man whom he couldn’t  resist smiling about.

“Never!” Bilbo replied in a harsh tone. Thorin watched as they disappeared out of sight. He looked down at Smaug with a small smile. A much as he was confusing he was amusing and there was something about him that he didn’t think he could get over.

“So, soon.” Smaug whimpered before standing up and lifting his leg to Thorin’s. Thorin stepped aside with a  scowl and put the leash back on the over opinionated dog.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I changed some things up because Bilbo is testy and easily flustered (aroused) but I hope you still liked it, I will be following the same sort of story line but I'm going to make it more the usual Bilbo we love. Thorin is still going to be smug because while I love schmoop!Thorin I like the idea of uninhibited smug!Thorin


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin and Balin know that the Prince is enamored, it's hard to ignore when he's constantly floating on Cloud Nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I call Thorin a fag in this chapter, so if you get offended just replace it with Fairy. This is T after all with a potential to change rating.

Bilbo dragged Frodo back to the hotel in a fury. He had no reason to be mad, but he didn’t like the alternative. Frodo complained the whole way. Finally when they ventured into the back door, Ori was there waiting for them. He looked giddy and beyond himself with happiness despite Bilbo’s apparent anger. Frodo broke from his father’s grip when they arrived to the locker rooms. Bilbo hurried to strip out of the suit. He didn’t know who to yell at first. His son for ditching school or Ori for convincing him to go out in public in this ridiculous get up only to be embarrassed within an inch of his life.

Bilbo started with his son.

“What are you doing out of school?” His voice wasn’t raised but he was harsh. Frodo played with his shoes while he looked at the floor.

“I didn’t want to speak in front of the class.” Bilbo scowled and took a deep breath. He realized his son was vehemently afraid of public speaking, so it made it hard to be mad at him for something that Bilbo didn’t think he could do himself. He sighed deeply and pat his son on the head.

“You must be hungry after today?” Frodo nodded. Bilbo shooed him off to Bombur in the kitchens with his lunch which he knew would get a deep scowl and a replacement with sufficient food. That left Ori to contend with. He was pretending to be sheepish. Bilbo had the overwhelming urge to smack his best friend, but he ignored it in favor of crossing his arms over his chest. It lost its effect as he was shirtless and halfway  out of the borrowed pants.

“Oh, come on, Bilbo!” Ori groaned.

“No! I am no longer living for you.” He stated firmly. He finished undressing and carefully put the suit in his locker with the utmost care. There was a very pregnant silence before Ori spoke up again.

“How was it?” Bilbo blushed and despite his anger had been wanting to speak to his best friend all day. He waited to respond until he got his uniform back on which Ori placed back in his locker after he went out to the park with the infamous Thorin Oakenshield. Ori was buzzing with excitement. Bilbo grabbed the suit and waved Ori to follow him.

“I’ll tell you on our way back up to return this.” Bilbo smirked and began his trek up to the hotel room. “Let’s hope they haven’t checked in yet.” Bilbo and Ori walked past Nori who gave Bilbo a knowing look and Bilbo tried to act coy. Nori smirked and went back to the surveillance cameras.

“Spill.” Ori pressed as they entered the service elevator. Bilbo sighed.

“He’s a bit smug, but kind. Frodo wasn’t in the least bit shy.” Bilbo smiled at seeing his introverted boy so open. “He’s also very intimidating. I’ve never been around royalty before. Sure celebrities here and there but this is a whole nother level.” Ori was gushing from all the gossip.

“So will there be another date?” The elevator dinged and they arrived to the floor of the suite. Bilbo shook his head.

“I’m afraid not.” He then launched into the fiasco that ensued towards the end of their meeting. While Bilbo was progressively getting more and more red with the now second hand embarrassment, Ori was absolutely delighted and laughed hysterically. Bilbo pulled out his key as the door to the suite opened. A tall man with flowing blond hair and intimidating eyes unlike the ones Thorin  possessed was standing in the doorway. Ori silenced immediately and Bilbo’s heart stopped.

“I wasn’t expecting housekeeping until later.” He raised an eyebrow and moved out of the doorway.

“Your suit was delayed at the front desk and we were asked to return it to you.” Bilbo said in a smooth tone despite his heart pounding in his ears. He regulated his breathing by flexing his toes. They both walked in and went to put the suit back when the guest stopped them.

“Wait, let me see that,” The guest shut the door and walked towards them. Bilbo would have fainted from nerves had he not felt Ori put a hand between his shoulder blades to calm him. Bilbo stepped forward and handed the guest his suit. Another man stepped out of the bathroom and he was probably just as tall, but he had black hair that was in a braid over his shoulder. Bilbo probably would have guessed they were royalty had he not just met Thorin Oakenshield in a weird happenstance.

“I told you that it would be here in time, Thandruil.” The other man commented. Thandruil looked at the suit, his face twisting into an unrecognizable emotion. Bilbo began to fear for his job.

“Except they don’t know how to convert measurements. It’s too small.” He huffed and gave the suit back to Bilbo. Had he not been in the presence of the people whom he momentarily stole from he would have let out a relieved sigh, but he kept his composure and bowed to the guest.

“Is there anything I can do to be of assistance?” Bilbo didn’t straighten until he heard what request Thandruil had of him.

“Take it back to the front desk. I’ll have the company come take it away later.” Thandruil threw himself on the lounge and covered his eyes with one hand. “Is it so hard to find decent tailors, Elrond?” Elrond merely shook his head and gave Bilbo a hefty tip for being so helpful. Bilbo nodded and he and Ori tore out of the suite. He hoped it was passed off as being diligent and not as afraid. Only when Bilbo and Ori entered the elevator did they let go of their held breath and nervously laughed.

xXx

Thorin tossed the Frisbee between Dwalin and himself. He was full of energy and he wasn’t sure he could pinpoint exactly what it was from, but he had a good idea. Smaug panted in his bed, exhausted from the day. Balin sat on the lounge going through mail. Bofur was trying to speak with Thorin, but he was to wound to even focus on what he was saying.

“Thorin! We have an important meeting to attend to tomorrow and I need to know if you have your speech ready.” Thorin hummed as he jumped for the Frisbee that barely cleared Bofur’s head.

“It’s fine, Bofur,” A vein in Bofur’s  head pulsed.”I’m more of an improve guy.” Thorin whooped as Dwalin barely missed his toss. “That makes it seven and four.” Bofur made a sound of what Thorin thought might have been pain as he made some motion behind him and what he assumed was a pen being thrown. Thorin turned around with the Frisbee and saw Bofur attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to write you up a spare speech in case the one you have ready is actually rubbish.” Bofur went to the other room and Thorin couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Dwalin,” Thorin threw himself on the couch, startling Balin slightly. “You should have been there.” His voice was laden with emotion. “He was so…..”

“Arousing?” Dwalin shot in and what would have earned him a rotten glare only was met with a sigh.

“Endearing.” Balin and Dwalin looked at each other and their eyes went wide. The brothers looked back at Thorin who was clutching the Frisbee to his chest as if it was the man in question.

“Thorin, we want you to be happy,” Balin started.

“But you know how the media would react to its long adored Prince being a fag?” Thorin brushed off the comment. He was used to it at this rate. Everyone and their mother was trying to pair him off with plenty of suitable women, but each one Thorin turned down. The tabloids were having a field day when he managed to get to date number two with a woman. Or what Thorin called, getting his dad off his back.

“Media or my father?” Thorin really had no desire to be King, while his Father thought he was the best suited Thorin thought Frerin was a much better king. His father simply didn’t approve of Frerin’s bachelor lifestyle where Thorin was willing to at least attempt to go on dates with women. This subject always got swept under the rug when anyone even remotely hinted at it, but after meeting Mr. Greenleaf today, he wasn’t sure if he could give him up just for the face of publicity. Both of the brothers sighed and dropped the subject. Although Dwalin was dying to hear more.

There was a knock at the door and Thorin bounded off the couch, barely dodging Dwalin as he ran to the door. He opened it to reveal an older man in a tuxedo.

“Thorin Oakenshield, I am Dori, I am the head butler of the hotel and have come to make my acquaintance and ask if you are in need of any services.” The older man held himself in a regal manner. Thorin held out his hand and Dori shook it.

“Actually I do.” He leaned in close to Dori. “I was wondering if you could send a not to Thandruil Greenleaf that he is invited to lunch with me tomorrow?” Dori nodded. “I would also like for there to be a lunch to be had in my room around 12:30.” Dori bowed.

“It would be my pleasure, sir. If there is nothing else I will have the arrangements set.” Thorin smiled.

“That is all.” Thorin thanked the man and the butler turned down the hall. Thorin shut the door with a giddiness in his heart. He went back into the lounge and saw Dwalin stretched out on the couch and Balin relocated to a small table by the window. Thorin sat next to Dwalin.

“Who was that?”

“The butler,” Dwalin reached for the remote and began to search through the channels. “I invited him to lunch tomorrow.” Thorin whispered and Dwalin froze.

“You’d better watch yourself, Thorin Oakenshield.” Was all Dwalin had to say before he resumed in flipping through the channels. Thorin pet Smaug and began to plan out tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah inspiration is literally writing this itself. I hope to continue all the way through the end.


	4. May the Best Butler Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some good news visits the Baggins family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you this thing was writing itself

Bilbo pressed the button on the elevator and was surprised to find it already waiting for him. Dori held the door open and Bilbo thanked him. He got along very well with Dori and had expressed his eagerness to become a butler. It would increase his pay and he would be the first maid to move up to a butler position.

“I was just looking for you.” Dori started. “You still wish to become a butler?” Bilbo nodded enthusiastically. “I spoke with Gandalf and he said he would be willing to pull some strings.” Bilbo gasped and had the cart not been in the way, he would have hugged Dori.

“Really?” Dori nodded in his knowing way.

“I have a lunch to cater tomorrow, I would like to have you join me in doing so.” Bilbo nodded.

“Thank you, so much, Dori.” Bilbo held his tears. Dori gave a closed lipped smile and let Bilbo exit the elevator first.

“Meet me at the executive suite tomorrow at 12:00 sharp.” Bilbo nodded with a bright smile. His shift was coming to a close, so he hurried to put all of his things away and shoot Ori a text saying he had good news. He rushed to his locker and threw on his coat as he went to go grab Frodo. His phone signaled he had a message. He looked to see Ori’s response.

 _Is someone getting laid?_ Bilbo blushed, but shook his head and pocketed his phone. He grabbed Frodo by the hand and, in a hushed tone, told him he had good news. Frodo perked up as they waved goodbye to Nori and he left for the night.

xXx

Once they were inside Frodo exploded with excitement. “What’s the good news, dad?” Frodo kicked off his shoes and his jacket was thrown on the back of a chair as Bilbo shut the door behind him.

“Dad might become a butler!” Frodo gasped and hugged his father. Bilbo finally let himself have his moment for tears of happiness. He hugged his son tight and lifted the eight year old off the ground, even if he was nearly his father’s height already. At only eight he was growing quickly. Bilbo set him down, but stayed squatting in front of his son.

“Let’s celebrate!” Frodo exclaimed. Bilbo nodded in agreement. “Let’s go out, dad.” Frodo was already running to his room. Presumably to change out of his school uniform and into something nicer. Bilbo liked the idea of food after giving Frodo his lunch earlier and only having a strong cup of coffee for breakfast today, but he looked outside and saw the clouds start to accumulate in great, dark numbers.

“How about we order in, Frodo?” Bilbo called as Frodo came out in little tux half on and bowtie hanging around his neck. He remembered that was the only tux he could afford for his son when Bilbo’s mother passed away. He had his shirt and vest on, but no pants and just his flannel underwear for decency. Thunder began to rattle the windows and Frodo looked in fright.

“Maybe that would be better.” Frodo ran to his room, either to change or in fear of more thunder. Bilbo picked up his phone and looked through the phone book.

“Chinese or pizza?” Frodo wasn’t very picky as Bilbo always aspired to expose him to a wide variety of food at a young age. A muffled ‘pizza’ came from Frodo’s  room and Bilbo called their favorite delivery service.

xXx

Delivery arrived and the two of them were stuffing their face with an extra veggie vegetarian pizza. A bad action movie playing on the TV as the rain pattered on the window and lightening occasionally struck outside.

“Why were you dressed up today, dad?” Bilbo nearly forgot about that. He guess he owed his son an explanation.

“Well, Ori convinced me to try on this outfit, but just as I was going to put it back you walked in with the Prince.” He gave a nonheated glare at his son. Frodo attempted to look apologetic, but it looked more smug then anything.

“Well I’m glad Ori got you to do that.” Frodo bit into his pizza. “You looked very happy.” But it was muffled with food. Bilbo raised an eyebrow at his son. Frodo apologized with his mouth still full and hurried to swallow.

“Well, I hope I never have to deal with the Prince again.” Bilbo said finally. “It’s bad enough you give me gray hairs on your own.” Frodo finished his crust and stood upon the couch. He began to dig through his dad’s hair. Bilbo laughed and tried to shoo him off. Frodo moved to the back of the couch. Bilbo turned around and began to tickle the boy.

“Uncle! Uncle!” Frodo yelled. Bilbo let him go and huffed.

“Now, finish your second slice and I don’t want to hear about how hungry you are later.” Bilbo got up to put his dishes away and joined Frodo back on the couch. His son set his empty plate down and curled up next to his dad as the B-rated action film continued on. Bilbo kissed Frodo’s dark curls and he could hear him yawn. “No more ditching school, Frodo.” Frodo mumbled something and yawned again. “If I’m going to get this position as a butler I need you to be on your best behavior. I don’t think you showing up all the time will help me with getting the job.” Frodo nodded solemnly.

After a few moments Bilbo knew his son was asleep and changed the channel to some cheesy romantic comedy. After a half an hour he couldn’t keep his eyes open and turned it off. He picked up Frodo and placed him in his bed. He kissed his forehead, whispering good night as a lumbered through the house to get to his own bed. He changed into his nightclothes as the day’s events wore on him and he stumbled into bed. He wouldn’t admit to anyone that the last thing on his mind before going to bed would be a pair of soft blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed


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